The Humans Return, Spring Cleanup Continues, and Order Is Mostly Restored
Blog 44
The Humans Have Returned
After what felt like several fiscal quarters, the humans have finally returned from their work trip.
During their absence, Paul was left in charge of the farm.
And I want to be very clear about something.
Paul was holding the farm together alone with duct tape and determination.
It was impressive, really.
There were animals to feed.
Equipment to keep running.
Mud to navigate.
And at least one goat conducting unscheduled security patrols at all hours.
While Paul handled the physical labor, I handled the leadership.
From a distance.
Mostly while laying in a strategic location where I could monitor operations.
(It happened to be a sunny patch of ground, but that is beside the point.)
Now that Krystin and Chris have returned, the farm has settled back into its usual rhythm of organized chaos.
The Spring Cleanup Continues
The farm is still deep in what the humans are calling Spring Cleanup.
As you may remember, the Great Poop Mountains of Winter were recently defeated in a major field operation once the equipment could finally get back into the muddy pastures.
This was a historic moment.
But apparently that was only the beginning.
The humans have now entered the next phase of cleanup operations, which includes:
• grass cutting
• weed whacking
• tree trimming
• fixing things that mysteriously stopped working over winter
• and making upgrades to the cottage so visiting humans can enjoy the farm properly
Naturally, I have been supervising these efforts carefully.
Mainly from a comfortable sunny location where I can observe the progress and judge the overall efficiency of the operation.
So far, I would say the humans are doing… acceptable work.
The Weather Has Finally Apologized
Another major development:
The weather has stopped being rude.
After weeks of mud, cold, wind, rain, and general atmospheric hostility, the sun has finally reappeared and the farm has begun drying out.
This means several important things:
• animals are leaving their winter grumpiness
• humans are outside working nonstop
• and I can once again enjoy proper sunbathing conditions
Which, for the record, is an essential leadership activity.
Security Operations Continue
Cletus the goat remains an active member of the farm’s security team.
He continues to:
• wake me when humans approach
• headbutt suspicious individuals
• patrol areas no one asked him to patrol
Frankly, it is comforting to know someone here takes security seriously.
Cletus handles perimeter enforcement.
I handle strategy.
A Concerning Feed Situation
Another development worth mentioning is the continued arrival of large quantities of horse feed.
Pallets.
Bags.
Entire deliveries.
And yet somehow…
None of it appears to be intended for me.
I have raised this concern with management several times.
My requests for watermelon allocations are still pending.
I will continue to monitor this situation closely.
Until next time,
Snoutfully yours,
🐽 Squealexander Hamilton
Tiny Pig, Strategic Supervisor of Farm Operations, Occasional Sunbeam Enthusiast